Why is it going to be like this?

Long before,

I lied to you,

I told you some bulshit stories,

I told you I'm not playing with your heart,

I told you I'm not going to meet anyone..

Once,

Again, I made a lie,

I saved some call lists,

for me to refer when I'm done,

done with you or anyone,

but then,

It was nothing,

it just some another bulshit made by me..

Some old days,

you made me realized,

how much you love me,

how much you care for me,

how much your sacrifices to me,

and how much I owed you generousety..

Yesterday,

I kept all my love on you,

I lived with all my heart in you,

I gave everything I had to you,

just want you to acknowledge me,

just want you to beleive me,

just want you to realise my truthworthy..

Yet yesterday,

we'd shared our loughters,

shared our tears,

shared our dreams,

shared our past,

dreaming of our feutures,

leaving together in harmony,

without any heart feeling with the others,

others who will ignore us,

when they feel they are free..

Today,

you make me cry,

you make me dissapointed,

you make dissatisfy,

you make me ashamed of myself,

why I can't take care of you,

why I can't understand you,

why I can't release you,

why, why, why..

Yet today,

I feel guilty as in me,

playing around my mind,

inside my heart,

a question being asks,

am I so useless untill I can't manage,

the one who I loved the most,

the one who treat as myself,

all the sickness,

all the happiness,

and all the suffers,

which being taken,

which being shared,

since a very long time ago,

and I have to let it go...

I can't stay like this,

watching the one I love,

love other person than me,

I can't take it any longer,

Deep inside my heart,

I cry, I'm sad,

and I keep asking myself,

why is it going to be like this...